Ambassaden/Foreign Times


Danish edition - fredag december 03 2021

Foreign Times is a fake
by Frode Fenis

I case you shouldn't have discovered it by yourself, this newspaper is a complete fake. It's a complete disaster with no authority, and it's written by a alcoholized ex-convict.

Nevertheless the plan is to publish a new edition every day and give foreigners the un-thruth about Denmark.

The un-thruth this week is

  • The little Mermaid has been bought by the Chinese government as a part of the deal at the Copenhagen summit
  • Facebook is prohibited in Iceland - therefore Denmark receive a lot of refugees from Iceland, who wants to be on Facebook.
  • The danish letters æ,ø and å are abandonned by the danish people. Now the city of Århus has decided to call themselves Aarhus as in the good old days.
Stock Cubes found in The Ice Fiord
1600 stock cubes emerged from the ice in The Ice Fiord

The stock cubes was stolen in the town of Holbæk, about 60 km from Copenhagen. The Danish Police thinks that the stock cubes was stolen because of the threath from a major labor conflict.
At the recent major labor conflict the people of Denmark was afraid of running out of yeast, and the police thinks that the thieves has been speculating in the Danish peoples fear from the lack of their favourite dish "brun sovs" which in english would be translated to "brown sauce".

The thieves was discovered by a ice-creambar-owner who was working late, although Denmark has experienced the coldest winter for years.
"Danish mother seeking" has stopped her carrier as an actress

The danish actress Ditte Arnth has been forced to give up her carrier as an actress

One of the most viewed viral marketing-videos on Youtube has had serious consequences for "Karen", who claimed that the Danes was promiscuous by nature and didn't know anything about birth-control.

The company behind the video thought a emancipated woman would be the perfect picture of Denmark and that it would make more tourists come to Denmark.

Karen and little August

Nobody wanted to hire Karen(Ditte) after the video because she was to well-known for her part as a danish mother.